The Disease of Addiction

What does "the disease of addiction" mean to me?

So for a bit of inspiration on the question I turned to my favorite media platform, YouTube! I wanted to see what other people thought about "the disease of addiction", and weigh in on the subject. I found this TedX talk given by former Director of National Drug Control Policy, Michael Botticelli about his recovery and what people can do to loose the stigma of 'being an addict'.

In the video Michael has a few very good points. Addiction first off is a disease. It has been proven time and time again. Over and over. It's very sad how Americans and people throughout the world view addiction as a moral deficiency rather then a disease. I believe that if the stigma was gone that the world would have less addicts.

I know that when I was in active addiction, I was always fearful of admitting that I had a problem. I always thought that I was destined to be a criminal, and I was going to die by using drugs. I actually looked up to my Meth dealer as a 'mentor'. I always knew that when I was on meth that I had 'meth logic' and reality was something that I didn't want to be apart of. The disease of addiction definitely had a firm grasp on my life.

"My disease tells me that I don't have a disease. My disease tells me that I can successfully use drugs & alcohol and that I'm able to control this usage." ~ Narcotics Anonymous Member

I knew that if I didn't admit that I had a problem I was going to die. This was important to me that I didn't die. I want a life, a successful life. I knew that this disease of addiction was getting in the way of that. I was spending all my money on drugs. At the peak of my drug use I was spending almost $200 a day on drugs, and centering my schedule around the 'getting and using and finding ways to get more'. This definitely wasn't the way to save any money, or ever become successful.

I had a really messed up set of morals as well, however I realize now that these messed up morals were caused by the drugs and not because I had a moral deficiency. I was always proud of myself however for sticking to the three things I would never do. "I will never smoke meth, I will never Do heroin, and I will never do crack." I said this to myself over and over again knowing that because of my addiction, if I ever touched those drugs or smoked meth that it was game over for me. I would definitely 100% end up in jail for a majority of my life or just end up dead.

This disease really is tough to grasp my mind around. There are so many facets of this disease that even I don't fully understand yet. I just pray and have faith that by working through the steps I'm able to find my sense of purpose and being. To become a successful and productive member of society without the use of drugs.

I find that through being honest, open-minded, and willing to change that my life has gotten better. Today I am 109 days clean. Only through being honest with myself and open-minded to a new way of life am I able to be clean. I then have to be willing to do the next right thing. This means going to meetings every night of the week, surrounding myself with people in recovery, and being patient.

Recovery is a life long process that I will struggle with. However, I know that if I surround myself with people in recovery that this process will become easier. The disease of addiction can be minimized and eventually 'arrested'.

"The only true choice you have in life is who you surround yourself with. If you want to be an IT person, surround yourself with people in the IT field. If you want to be in the trucking industry, surround yourself with people in the Trucking Industry. If you want to recover from addiction, surround yourself with people in recovery." ~ Jonathan R.