It's Been A While!

So, it's been a while since my last post. Unfortunately, I have to find a new sponsor, and so because of this I'm putting the blog on a hold. I don't want to complete any step work without a sponsor as step work is supposed to be done with a sponsor. I'm sure that soon enough I will find someone who is a good fit for me, and is able to be my sponsor for a while.

For now however, I will be trying to post every once in a while on the daily Just for Today readings. So let's go ahead and start.

"When we honestly tell our own story, someone else may identify with us" ~ Just for Today p. 330

Today's reading is about being honest and truthful when telling your own story. It also brings up pride, and humility. When we are asked to talk in front of a meeting, or a convention it usually is always this premeditated thought process of what we're going to say, however as soon as we start talking, usually things never come out how we plan.

The key here, when telling our story, is to just tell it how it is. Speak truth, and speak the experience, strength, and hope. Don't deviate from that and you'll go far. Whenever we try to embellish our story with lies or over exaggerations its usually because we want to sound cool, or be something that we're not. This is the disease of addiction speaking, and not our hearts speaking.

Unfortunately this is mainly due to a sense of pride. We have to humbly tell our story, and never forget that the main focus of Narcotics Anonymous is share the message with the new addict. This message has to come from the heart, if its not the newcomer will instantly sense that it's just lies and bullshit and probably won't come back.

As I haven't been yet asked to speak since being back this second time, I can't share my experience on this subject as much. I've been asked to speak when I was living in Maine, however I was that guy who tried to embellish the story with lies. I see that my way and views of things back then was not ok and I probably hurt the newcomer in the long run. It's something I regret to this day. However it is what it is, and I can't change the past. I can turn that mistake into a lesson and learn from it or just dwell in the past and not be able to recover.

Today, I'm clean. I'm able to share my experience this time around before, and after the meeting, inside and outside as well. This time I'm able to share honestly, without taking that pride and trying to be something that I'm not.