Recovering Through Open-Mindedness

"We can also use the steps to improve our attitudes." ~ Just for Today p. 314 After yet again not doing my step work like I should I can definitely feel like my life is starting to derail a bit. My tooth is also hurting extremely bad lately. Side effects of being a meth addict I guess. *shrug* It hurts. Ow... :( So this Just for Today  is a really good one. I love the fact that it's basically saying what I've been saying for many months now: "The only real choice that you have is your own actions, and who you're friends with."  You know I really think that making the decision to delete everyone out of my phone that was not Family, Work, or NA  has helped me further myself in life. It's removed the temptation to hit someone up from my past and try to start back up with old habits. Working Step One is a little difficult for me right now. I'm having issues with my room mate not cleaning his side of the room, and I'm having to check my atti...

So, this post is being written with some pretty heated emotions... Well, I wouldn't say heated emotions, but just a lot of emotions all at once. I don't know really what to feel. Hurt? Used? Preyed upon? Anger? Frustration? Sadness? Joy and relief? It's all hitting me at once. During my active addiction I would often try and run away from my emotions, and just cover them up with drugs and try not to feel. I would also try and drown out my sorrows by having sex with anything and everything that moved. I thought that sex might cheer me up, and make me loose the sense of reality even for just a little while, but I only realized that doing that didn't help either. So, what happened today that has me so messed up? I'll use the words "they" and "their" to make sure that anonymity is still present, and to not assign a specific gender to this addict. An addict who I was very close to recently went back out and relapsed. Unfortunately this addict is g...