Recovering Through Open-Mindedness

"Just for Today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems of my life. If I owe amends, I will make them." ~ Just for Today p. 295 The title really does say it all. How many times have I not claimed responsibility of my own actions and tried to blame others for my own problems. That "look at the log in your own eye before you look at the splinter in someone else's" really stands out today. It's a difficult road accepting responsibility... but in the long run its necessary if I ever want to grow as a person... as a human being. I have focused so many times on other peoples problems, and focused less on mine. I guess thats mainly because I didn't want to accept the fact that I was human, and that I had problems in my life. I felt as though if I had problems in my life that I would be looked down upon and that I would be thought of as a piece of shit. However, not owning up to my own problems, and the part/role I ta...

"How does the self-centered part of my disease affect my life and the lives of those around me?" ~ NA Step Working Guide p. 2 Ahhhhhh yes, self-centeredness. The first thing that comes to my mind is also ego. I know that these are major character defects and I believe that they go hand in hand with each other. I'm always thinking about me, and how I can satisfy myself all the time, and how I can put myself above you. During my active addiction I would always say "I do what I want". It was sort of my slogan and motto. I never really cared about what I did, and this false sense of freedom that this gave me made me feel invincible. It was really tough to center myself and look at those around me and how my actions would affect them.  I have to admit that I really was completely out of control of my life. Even though I thought I had complete control, I really didn't. I was always thinking of me. The prime examples of this self-centeredness was mainly when ...

Has my disease been active recently? In what way? You know, I really like the wording of this question. The second question doesn't say "If so, in what way?" it says "In what way?". This makes me aware that even if I think that my disease hasn't been active recently that it really has. I need to always look at my life on a daily basis and figure out, how has this disease reared its ugly head. Is it ego? Is it patience? What about isolation and depression. All of these things I definitely struggle with on a daily basis. I've heard it said many times in meetings that getting clean isn't for the feint of heart. This program takes courage and strength. It's really easy to get high. It's also easy to get clean. What is hard is staying clean and growing spiritually, mentally, maturity, and changing your life. I wrote a few days ago how I thought that my ego might have effected my way of thinking a few days ago at a meeting. It was tough admit...

I am feeling extremely drained tonight guys... Work kicked my ass, while the meetings were filled with awesome experience strength and hope! Today's Just for Today  was about ego and self-will. Thats definitely something I've been struggling with. It's really funny how the God of my understanding aligns things just the way I need to see them sometimes. "Our egos, Once so large and dominant, now take a back seat because we are in harmony with a loving God. We find that we lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when we lose self-will" ~ Just for Today October 3rd, 2017 I currently live in a 3/4 house, to which if you don't know what that is I'll explain it for you really quickly. I live with a total of 6 guys, all in recovery, and we have two house meetings a week, and are required to go to meetings 5 nights a week for the first 30 days. Once we get a sponsor, it's up to our sponsor how often we should go to meetings each week after the first 30 ...