Feeling Drained

I am feeling extremely drained tonight guys... Work kicked my ass, while the meetings were filled with awesome experience strength and hope! Today's Just for Today was about ego and self-will. Thats definitely something I've been struggling with. It's really funny how the God of my understanding aligns things just the way I need to see them sometimes.

"Our egos, Once so large and dominant, now take a back seat because we are in harmony with a loving God. We find that we lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when we lose self-will" ~ Just for Today October 3rd, 2017

I currently live in a 3/4 house, to which if you don't know what that is I'll explain it for you really quickly. I live with a total of 6 guys, all in recovery, and we have two house meetings a week, and are required to go to meetings 5 nights a week for the first 30 days. Once we get a sponsor, it's up to our sponsor how often we should go to meetings each week after the first 30 days. It's a structured environment thats centered in recovery. I must admit that it's the best thing that has happened to me. It's surrounded me with people in recovery and I can go to any of them at any time, day or night, if I have any questions or just need to talk. Super supportive.

So I was talking to one of the guys last night about how I feel as though my ego was really huge last night at the meeting. How I was sitting there listening to other speak and in my head thinking that I could solve all their problems, and identifying what step their issue or problem correlates with. That just wasn't right... Huge ego issue there... Then all of a sudden today's Just for Today is about ego. Go figure right?

So a lot of my inner reflections were on how I can leave my ego at the door whenever I'm encountering a situation where ego can run rampant. It's definitely a character defect that I have, but half the battle, I think, is identifying the character defect... Right? I know that I'm going to actively keep working on this, while at the same time realizing that tomorrow is a new day and what's in the past is in the past. All I can do is look at the past and learn from my mistakes. If I don't learn from them, then all I'm doing is going insane.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. Once you start learning from your mistakes, they're no longer mistakes, they're lessons."

I am not going to answer a question from my Step Working Guide tonight, however I will try and do that tomorrow night. I'm off Thursday so I'll be able to stay up a bit later and actually put forth some real effort into writing something comprehensive.

Hope you all enjoyed your meetings tonight. As always if you don't know where the closest meeting is to you, go check out this link here: https://www.na.org/meetingsearch/