Recovering Through Open-Mindedness

So after a long time away from doing step work, and outlined in my last post, I feel as though my recovery has been at a stand still and it's starting to affect many areas in my life. I'm getting back on the saddle and hoping that by doing so, I'm able to start recognizing some of my character defects and hopefully be able to work on them and fix them. "Have I given plausible but untrue reasons for my behavior? What have they been?" ~ Step Working Guide p. 2  So I honestly didn't know what this question was asking when I first looked at it, however this question can also be worded as "Have I lied about the reasons for my behavior?". Obviously. Whether the reasons might have been plausible or not, they are untrue, which means I've lied. Throughout my life I have lied about many issues, always blaming the drugs, or blaming someone else for my own actions. There have been so many lies that quite honestly, if I listed them all I would take up so...

So unfortunately I have been loosing focus on what truly matters in recovery, and that is recovery in and of itself. I've become complacent in many ways and it's starting to show in my life. I'm becoming less tolerant of others, not listening, and not taking the suggestions of those around me. Honestly I've been focusing on work so much that I've completely forgotten that I am still sick with the disease of addiction. Work is going extremely well. Usually, as it is the case with most addicts, when things start going well we often start having the thoughts of 'Oh well, I can skip that meeting, I'll just catch the next one', or 'I'll just do some step work later when I get home' and then never getting around to it. This in it's purest form is the 'voice of addiction' telling me that I don't have a problem, when in all reality I do. "Our disease gives us warped information about what's going on in our lives." ~ ...