Recovering Through Open-Mindedness

"... we understand that the world's condition wasn't really the problem. It was our ideas and attitudes about the world that made it impossible for us to find a comfortable place in it." ~ Basic Text p. 55 You know, I was thinking about this today before I even read the Just for Today. It was pretty interesting that this was the topic for the Just for Today . I said a few weeks ago that I don't believe in coincidences anymore, and I'm coming to realize that if I open my eyes to the view around me that things usually are connected to each other in one way or another. So today was a pretty rough one. Unfortunately I can't say much because I don't want to violate our traditions and anonymity principals of the Narcotics Anonymous program. So, I'll just talk about the Just for Today . "Our attitudes and our ideas are the eyeglasses through which we see our lives. If our "glasses" are smudged or dirty, our lives look dim. If our atti...

"Just for Today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems of my life. If I owe amends, I will make them." ~ Just for Today p. 295 The title really does say it all. How many times have I not claimed responsibility of my own actions and tried to blame others for my own problems. That "look at the log in your own eye before you look at the splinter in someone else's" really stands out today. It's a difficult road accepting responsibility... but in the long run its necessary if I ever want to grow as a person... as a human being. I have focused so many times on other peoples problems, and focused less on mine. I guess thats mainly because I didn't want to accept the fact that I was human, and that I had problems in my life. I felt as though if I had problems in my life that I would be looked down upon and that I would be thought of as a piece of shit. However, not owning up to my own problems, and the part/role I ta...

"How does the self-centered part of my disease affect my life and the lives of those around me?" ~ NA Step Working Guide p. 2 Ahhhhhh yes, self-centeredness. The first thing that comes to my mind is also ego. I know that these are major character defects and I believe that they go hand in hand with each other. I'm always thinking about me, and how I can satisfy myself all the time, and how I can put myself above you. During my active addiction I would always say "I do what I want". It was sort of my slogan and motto. I never really cared about what I did, and this false sense of freedom that this gave me made me feel invincible. It was really tough to center myself and look at those around me and how my actions would affect them.  I have to admit that I really was completely out of control of my life. Even though I thought I had complete control, I really didn't. I was always thinking of me. The prime examples of this self-centeredness was mainly when ...

So I'm writing this post on Saturday October 7th, but I'm scheduling it for the future. I'm going to be doing this more often as to not overload my readers with too many posts and too much information on one single day. I'm going to limit my posts I believe to two per day depending on what the post is about and the length of it. Now onwards to the actual post! "When a thought occurs to me, do I immediately act on it without considering the consequences? In what other ways do I behave compulsively?" ~ NA Step Working Guide p. 2  So, this question makes me really think. It's a difficult one to answer for myself, but yet its so easy. The short answer: Yes I do. As an addict I'm always thinking of the short-term and how to satisfy my need for short-term satisfaction. In my active addiction I was always going super fast, and never slowed down to think about how my actions would effect myself, the people around me, or the things around me. I always want...

We have a choice between justice and mercy. Which will you choose? "Many of us have difficulty admitting that we caused harm for others... We cut away our justification and our ideas of being a victim." ~ Just For Today  p. 291 The Just for Today  reading is definitely a big one. In one hand we have justice, and in the other hand we have mercy. Mercy is often viewed as weak, inferior, and always ends in the person that was wronged never getting any reciprocation for how they were wronged. Justice is viewed as superior, the right way and the fair way, and usually ends in the person who was wronged getting even with the person that wronged them. Most people forget that whenever they are the ones doing the wrong, they never want justice to be enacted upon themselves. They always want mercy for their wrong-doings. That double standard is what causes so much controversy on this subject. "But if we take a look back on our own behavior, we may find that we've been...

Has my disease been active recently? In what way? You know, I really like the wording of this question. The second question doesn't say "If so, in what way?" it says "In what way?". This makes me aware that even if I think that my disease hasn't been active recently that it really has. I need to always look at my life on a daily basis and figure out, how has this disease reared its ugly head. Is it ego? Is it patience? What about isolation and depression. All of these things I definitely struggle with on a daily basis. I've heard it said many times in meetings that getting clean isn't for the feint of heart. This program takes courage and strength. It's really easy to get high. It's also easy to get clean. What is hard is staying clean and growing spiritually, mentally, maturity, and changing your life. I wrote a few days ago how I thought that my ego might have effected my way of thinking a few days ago at a meeting. It was tough admit...